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Live Long Enough to Embarrass Your Kids

How-do? Thanks for coming by the blog today. My name is Jeffrey Ronald, and I’ll be guiding through, what probably will be, the most assinine valuable 3 minutes of your day. Please stay together because stragglers always slow it up for the rest of the group. Shall we?

Great Moments in TV History
~On an episode of “Just Shoot Me”, Elliott and Jack Gallo are talking about “Slurpees” and Elliott says “The blue’s the best”. (Referring to the popular Coco-Cola product Fanta Blue Raspberry)

Tweet du Jour
~http://twitter.com/Thisdayinmusic: “Today’s Anagram – Kylie Minogue–>I Like ‘Em Young”

In Case You Give a Rat’s Rear End
*Non-culinary uses for our friend, the lemon*
  ~Lemon juice cleans piano keys and copper pots, brightens porcelain, absorbs odors, and removes lipstick and wine stains.
  ~Half a lemon, from which most of the juice has been squeezed, makes a fresh cleaning pad for faucets and sinks. Use it with a little salt as an abrasive.
  ~Equal parts lemon juice and beaten egg can be boiled briefly and scented with rose water to make a natural face lotion.  (Eww, sounds a little UNnatural to go through all that and then put in on your FACE?)

We’re Judged by the Way We Properly Use Words
~”Diplomacy”: The ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way he looks forward to the trip.

Greeting Cards that Express Your True Feelings
(thanks to the wit and ‘in-touch-with-the-common-man’ thoughts of http://justmakingconvo.com and http://zodiblog.wordpress.com)
~”Happy Independence Day! Let’s get drunk and blow sh*t up!”
~”Happy Independence Day! Because I have a 30 pack of Natural Ice, an eighth of weed and 6 fingers left!”
~”Happy Graduation! None of us can believe it!”

Deeeeep Thoughts…on “Don’t”
~”Don’t argue with a fool. The spectators can’t tell the difference.”-Charles j. Nalin
~”Don’t go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”-Erma Bombeck
~”Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.”-William Coronel

Big Music Notes
~1970 No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: “Make It with You,” Bread.  (Wow-memories of my first serious gf, Judy aka Sneakers)
~1964 No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: “Where Did Our Love Go,” The Supremes. It is the group’s first hit.
~1962 Ringo Starr joins the Beatles as drummer after Pete Best is fired.
~1958 No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: “Volare (Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu),” Domenico Modugno. It is the only chart-topping record to originate in Italy.  (Pop quiz: do you remember the only Japanese song to top the charts? We covered it in one of last week’s blogs. No prob-it won’t count as part of your grade.) 
~1969 Mick Jagger was accidentally shot in the hand during filming of ‘Ned Kelly’ in Australia.
~1962 Peter, Paul & Mary release their 1st hit “If I Had a Hammer”, from their first album. “It included “500 Miles”, “Lemon Tree”, and the Pete Seeger hit tunes “If I Had a Hammer” (subtitled “(The Hammer Song)”) and “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?”. The album was listed on the Billboard Magazine Top Ten list for ten months and in the Top One Hundred for over three years.”

They Walk Among Us…and write Headlines…Ahhhh!
(Merci beaucoup to sixnate)
~”Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over”–What a Guy!
~”Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”–Must be stronger than duct tape!
~”Kids Make Nutritious Snacks”–Do they taste just like chicken?

Big SnJ Birthdays
~1937 Charles Robert Redford Jr. born in Santa Monica, CA
~1943 Martin Mull born in Chicago, Ill. Actor, comedian, musician, and…”studied painting and went on to graduate from the Rhode Island School of Design with a Bachelor of Fine Arts and a Master of Fine Arts in painting.”  
~1952 Patrick Swayze born in Houston, TX. Actor, singer-songwriter, and of course…dancer. “Patrick Swayze recently spent a week in the hospital, RadarOnline.com reported.
The actor, who’s battling pancreatic cancer, has returned home. He has been splitting time between his Los Angeles-area home and his New Mexico ranch. The Houston native reportedly has been using medical marijuana to ease the pain of his condition.”
Wishing Patrick the Best in his Battle…and a birthday that is Peace, Joy, and Comfort-filled.

Living the Smooth ‘n’ Jazzy Life
~”Man is happy only as he finds work worth doing-and does it well.”-E. Merrill Root (1895-1973) American Writer  (But finding it,  for some of us, is a life-long challenge (

Glad you came by today. It’s been a pleasure to be your guide-you were an especially enthusiastic group. Feel free to  partake of a hot or cold beverage of your choice (please use those tiny cups) and a delightful (day-old) Cheese or Blueberry Danish on your way out.

Explore posts in the same categories: Personal Interests

Tags: http://justmakingconvo.com, Slurpee, embarrass your kids, Just Shoot Me, Kylie Minogue, lemon, diplomacy, http://zodiblog.wordpress.com, greeting cards, Erma Bombeck, Bread, Make It With You, Volare, Peter Paul and Mary, Martin Mull, Patrick Swayze, E. Merrill Root, Fanta Blue Raspberry Slurpee

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